The Scrumptious Smell of Falling Leaves (And other things that make me want to live in an always-autumn world)

Let's back track to my childhood, shall we?

I lived in a house in an adorable rustic neighborhood, surrounded by trees. I was an outdoors child. No matter what season it was, I would most likely be found outside, climbing a tree, jumping in leaves or digging in the dirt. I loved the outdoors (still do). But there was one season I loved far more than any other: fall. 

In 5th grade, my penpal and I got into an argument over which was better, fall or spring. She said spring. I said fall. In my mind, spring=mud. Rain. Days spent inside, and a wet sandbox that was no good for digging in. But fall?

Oh fall. How can one dispute the fresh crunch of leaves as you trod down the driveway? The beautiful colors on the trees? The crisp air, whipping your hair around and blowing leaves around in beautiful swirly patterns. 

My words don't do it justice. Others have said it so much better than I. Other still have captured its essence with photography. 

The picturesque beauty

The simplicity

The crisp, cool air

(seriously, can it stay this way forever?)

Apple orchards and harvest 

Just...everything about it
I love fall, and I always will. 

Autumn makes my heart sing

Forever His

You will never run away

You're forever mine

You will never run away

You're by my side.

These lyrics from Rend Collective caught my ear the other day. I've been listening to a lot of CCM-Christian Contemporary Music of late. Some of it's not the greatest, but  a lot of the lyrics have been challenging me to rest in God, rather than in my own, crazy, messed up brain.

I'm so absolutely fickle, and vain and gosh darn self-centered sometimes, and I don't know what I want. My entire life has been like this.

I want one thing.
Then I want another.
Oh! What's that!

But it's been so much worse lately. I just don't know where God wants me, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do in my life, and every time I think God's going to open a door for me, I start scratching at it like a cat, and then it gets bolted shut. And even then I still try to force it.

Sometimes I think I'm the most impatient person I know. A door opens a crack and I burst through and run like mad, only to find myself in the middle of nowhere, not sure where I should go or what I should do.

But God is always there. I do believe that-I know it. And I wonder, does he look at me sadly and shake his head as I continually run my head into a door that's never meant to open. As I break out my chainsaw and cut a hole in the door, triumphantly stepping out on the other side of a door that I was never meant to reach.

How does one learn to submit to God? To heed the prodding of the Holy Spirit? How do I know what He wants me to do or be? I try and try and try to listen and hear what he's saying but just end up in tears.

Maybe the problem is that I'm trying to do too much, and therefore worrying too much. My life is in God's hands. I am forever God's child. What need have I to worry?

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord

I say, "You are my God"

My times are in Your hand

Psalm 31: 14-15

"So...How Religious Are You?"

One of my coworkers surprised me with that question the other day. People at Chipotle don't really seem to talk about spiritual matters very much. I looked up, shocked, not sure what exactly to answer, and somehow coughed up the words "well, I'm a Christian...and I go to church--but I mean I believe that going to church doesn't get me to heaven haha um.." and spewed up a few other things about my faith.

I kicked myself as soon as the conversation was over. I mean, come on. All the talk at church about how to share our faith and that's the most I can come up with? I just wasn't expecting the question. How religious am I?

To be honest, I really don't really know.

--If religious means belonging to a church denomination, then I'm religious.
--If religious means going to church on a regular basis, then I guess I’m pretty religious.

--If religious means reading my Bible daily, then I try to be pretty religious.

--If religious means following each of the 10 commandments then…I guess I try to be religious but I do fail. often. 

But even though I try to fulfill these religious requirements, I don’t necessarily know that I am religious. You decide.

--I am a Christian. 

--I go to church every Sunday morning, some Sunday nights, and even an occasional Bible study. But I don’t do it because I’m commanded to do so. I do it for the fellowship, for the sermon, for the music, and for the worship.
--I attempt to read my Bible and pray every day, but I don’t do it because I’m commanded to by my religion. I do it because I want to hear what God has to say, and I want to get to know Him more and more.

--Sure, I try to be a “good person”, as much as a sinful human being can be a good person. I make mistakes. A lot. But basically my life revolves around these truths.

1. I’m a sinner. I don’t want to sound pessimistic here, but it’s true. I am. I don’t think I’ve lived even one day of my life perfectly free of sin.
2.  God says that the “wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). I’ve earned death. I deserve to go to hell. That sounds harsh, but he’s a perfect, sinless God and sin is detestable in His sight.
3. Jesus, God’s son lived a perfect life and died on the cross. When he did this, he paid the price for my sins once and for all, so that I am simultaneously sinless and a sinner. I sin, but my sins are washed away through Jesus’ sacrifice. (which is so cool!)

I want these things to dictate the way I live my life. I’m not a “good person” because I’m trying to earn God’s favor and pay my way into heaven. It doesn’t work that way. No, He’s done so much for me that I want to obey His commands.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I do all of the things that "religious" people do, but having faith is more than having religion. You could be religious about anything. (There was one year that I religiously followed the Twins). But my faith is more personal than just following all of the laws, because goodness knows I break them, and going to church and reading my Bible, because I certainly haven't been super diligent about that. I'm no scribe, or pharisee of the new testament, following every law to the letter. But I do have faith in Jesus Christ--faith that he took my place in death and has given me the gift of eternal life. Maybe I'm religious about that!

Jesus commanded His disciples to “go and make disciples of all nations”. I want to share my faith with others so that they too can know the goodness of God but...I’m timid. I always get tongue tied and nervous. Anyway, this has been my response. I still don’t know how “religious” I am. I guess I wanted to write this and hopefully decide while writing it, but that didn’t happen. I have decided though that, “how religious are you” was the wrong question to ask. The term religious threw me off. Looking back, the correct answer should have been a solid “I don’t know. Here’s what I do believe”. 

ADDistracted

This isn't normal.
I'm not normal.
I mean, I've never been normal because everyone is unique, but this is really strange for even me. Why does this happen? Let me explain.

God's Fruit

The fruit of the spirit's not a cherry

The fruit of the spirit's not a cherry. 

If you wanna be a cherry, you might as well hear it:

You can't be a fruit of the spirit....

Cuz the fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control!

My little voice sang this over and over again in Sunday School and Wednesday night KidzQuest. Each time, I changed the fruit, and changed my voice to fit whatever fruit I was singing about. Teeny-tiny soft voice for cherry, deep voice for watermelon….you get the picture. Until recently, I’d forgotten about that song and about the fruit of the spirit. But the past few weeks at work, I've gotten a couple of unexpected complements...

Lyrics for LYFE

In the Midst of Earthly Life

Snares of death surround me

Where do I go amidst the strife?

To thee alone, my Savior!*

Flappy Bird Ain't the Word

Hey guys,

So I spend an awful lot of time on social media. That means Facebook,  Twitter & Pinterest, and really not that much time reading God's Word. Which is a problem.

I mean, I try to read it every night, and every morning when I wake up, but if I were to add up all of the time I spend on social media or horrid games like Temple Run (sorry, misleading title. I don't actually play Flappy Bird) it would FAR outweigh the time I spend with God, whether that be reading scripture or praying. 

I found this picture on Pinterest a while back, and it just blew my mind. It really made me think, what if we DID treat our Bibles like our cell phones. Wow.

Recently one of my friends did a presentation  in drug education on social media and internet addictions. I had never thought about internet being a drug before, but it makes sense. My friends and I are on it all the time. But why? We scroll through everything Facebook has to offer, and then go hit refresh just to do it all over again? At least that's me. Maybe you've got a Pinterest addiction, like my roommate (sorry, E). Constantly pinning and scrolling through her "pinfeed" trying to find new pictures and ignore homework that needs to be done. 

Why the internet? Why not the Bible?

This is why, for the month of May, I'm making a pledge to read my Bible every time I am tempted to go on Facebook, Twitter, BuzzFeed, or Pinterest to waste time. What kind of difference do you think it will make?